Life as I know it

I Kimberlie Draper, have realized in the past few days, that some things will never change. And neither will people. The more you try to do something about it, the more pain and confusion you go through. Ultimately, I am taking a step back now. From everything. If it is going to cause me pain, if it is going to make me look like a fool, I am NOT going to be a part of it.
I am tired of all the negativity in this world. I was once happy. And would love to achieve that again. SO now (and I hope those of you who read this will take some advice as well) I am going to do the things that make me happy. ANd do the things I need to be doing. Not for anyone else, but for my benefit. Not to sound conceded, not to be selfish, but I think that I deserve to be happy. And everyone else does too.
Starting now, I'm focused on me. And this little guy in my stomache. The one thing that needs to mean the world to me finally does. And I realize that. It's time to be a mom. And start thinking like one as well.
This is one of those life long moments we all need to think about someday. Today is my day. LIFE LONG, is a fairly long time. Choose wisely what you do. Think wisely of what you say. Life, is a long time away.

What a beautiful mess I'm in

So it's been a while...... again. Sorry to those who do look up on my blog and enjoy it * insert wink face here* I can tell you there has been so much in my life going on right now. Lets talk about this as if I were another person. A discussion through someone elses eyes if you will.
First off, drugs do bad things to good people. They know who they are. It ruins lives, it tears apart families, and it makes even the most honest of intentions devious, and completely false. 
Can I say I hate liars? Especially those who try to tear my sight of a perfect relationship apart? I have so much going for me. And the potential to have something going for us, and so now I say, did she really have to take a stab like that? When I knew point blank that she was making it up on the tip of her tongue. Trust me false wanker, I will never believe you again. And you now mean nothing to me. 
And that part is that. 
Next, I hate fighting. ANd arguing. With anyone. I think it is a ridiculous waste of time. I could be doing something that makes me happy like spending time with you, and you want to bring in an argument. About something I didn't do. And won't do. ANd you keep egging me on. and on and on and on. My head is going to implode. I've been putting on this front for so long that I didn't notice how long my hair has grown. Or how much we are dying. I'm done hiding from you. Just give me a better reason to open up to you.
on a side note, I realize not any of you will probably know what I am even talking about. It's a long twist of a messed up story. I don't do drugs. But I made the mistake of associating with people who do and will never cease until the day they die. So think of yourself in my shoes. Because when you can't figure out what I am saying, I can't figure out what these people are doing. Or why they are the way they are. Or why they act the way they do. Try being in a room full of people strung out on a pill, or meth. And your completely sober, and you have no intentions of ever looking as foolish as they do. It is scary. But I'm not supposed to have an opinion on this? Says who? 
Anyways, school is terribly crazy. I love it. It's the only thing that I can break focus off of everything that is making me crazy. On the inside and showing on the out.
Sorry for the vagueness. I love all of you.
To those liars out there. Frankly my dears, I don't give a damn about you. You tried to ruin everything that is dear to me. ANd for that, you will rot. Good for you.