What a beautiful mess I'm in

So it's been a while...... again. Sorry to those who do look up on my blog and enjoy it * insert wink face here* I can tell you there has been so much in my life going on right now. Lets talk about this as if I were another person. A discussion through someone elses eyes if you will.
First off, drugs do bad things to good people. They know who they are. It ruins lives, it tears apart families, and it makes even the most honest of intentions devious, and completely false. 
Can I say I hate liars? Especially those who try to tear my sight of a perfect relationship apart? I have so much going for me. And the potential to have something going for us, and so now I say, did she really have to take a stab like that? When I knew point blank that she was making it up on the tip of her tongue. Trust me false wanker, I will never believe you again. And you now mean nothing to me. 
And that part is that. 
Next, I hate fighting. ANd arguing. With anyone. I think it is a ridiculous waste of time. I could be doing something that makes me happy like spending time with you, and you want to bring in an argument. About something I didn't do. And won't do. ANd you keep egging me on. and on and on and on. My head is going to implode. I've been putting on this front for so long that I didn't notice how long my hair has grown. Or how much we are dying. I'm done hiding from you. Just give me a better reason to open up to you.
on a side note, I realize not any of you will probably know what I am even talking about. It's a long twist of a messed up story. I don't do drugs. But I made the mistake of associating with people who do and will never cease until the day they die. So think of yourself in my shoes. Because when you can't figure out what I am saying, I can't figure out what these people are doing. Or why they are the way they are. Or why they act the way they do. Try being in a room full of people strung out on a pill, or meth. And your completely sober, and you have no intentions of ever looking as foolish as they do. It is scary. But I'm not supposed to have an opinion on this? Says who? 
Anyways, school is terribly crazy. I love it. It's the only thing that I can break focus off of everything that is making me crazy. On the inside and showing on the out.
Sorry for the vagueness. I love all of you.
To those liars out there. Frankly my dears, I don't give a damn about you. You tried to ruin everything that is dear to me. ANd for that, you will rot. Good for you.